"Who can say that I've been changed for the better?"

I don't know about you, but I can say for myself that I have been changed for the better. I say this not because I think I'm the coolest person I know, or anything like that (even though I am pretty cool.) Instead, I say this because I've found a life enhancing answer. An answer that people twice my age all around the world are still looking for. This thing I've recently found about life is to try. Try to be kind. Try to get good grades, or a promotion at work. Try to be the best possible you, you can be!

Now, this is where I tell you my life experience involving trying and rant about becoming a better person. So if you'd rather not read that, stop now.

Okay, so my life has been short. I've only got 19 years under my belt, but this is something that has become very imperative on my life quality. You see, I am blessed with two very kind parents. Parents who taught me my whole life to work hard for what I wanted. They taught me that nothing comes for free, and to never give up. You would think that I would have listened right? Well, not exactly. I've always been the kid who gets by. Sure, I never fail classes, but I also never ace them. Sure I'm not the nicest person around, but I'm not the meanest either. Sure, I'm not the prettiest girl, but I'm also not the ugliest. Honestly this has been my outlook on life! As long as I'm not the worst, why should I have to be the best?

Here's why: the kids who ace classes feel much more accomplished. The nicest people always have the nicest friends. The prettiest people are always the happiest.

Now I'm not talking about the smart kid who never has to study to get the A+, or the person who is nice when it's convenient for them, or the superficial pretty who take ten hours to get ready and judge anyone wearing pajamas. I'm talking about the people who try. The people who work their butt off for that A, so that they can hang out with their friends later. The people who genuinely try their absolute hardest to never speak a mean word to anyone, about anyone. And the people who create inner beauty by surrounding themselves in uplifting environments.

So that’s why I can say I've been changed for the better. Just the fact that I've realized how much trying can change your life, my life has been changed! I'm still working on this whole trying thing though. I mean its almost three in the afternoon and I'm still in my pajamas.. BUT I've realized that sitting around in an idol state is the worst possible thing you can do to yourself in this life. Regardless of whether you get up or not, the sun will still rise and set. When it sets what can you say you've honestly done better today than yesterday. Tomorrow when the sun rises, what will you try to do to become a better you.

Each day we should strive to be better than we were the day before. No matter who we are or what we've done we can always be better than yesterday. I'm not saying we have to be perfect, or that you shouldn't make mistakes, because really our mistakes help us later. I'm just saying that striving to not make mistakes, striving for perfection, gives us a better outlook on life.

Shouldn't we live our life’s striving for happiness? As we decide to reach for our dreams, as we decide to try, we can live happy life’s. I've learned that. Because I've decided to try and make each day better than the last I have had so much fun with so many people. Hopefully we can all learn to try, and lead joyful lifes. 

Where are We Supposed to Stand?

Okay, so we see this everyday in our world. It's a little bit overbearing at times, but it seems as if the people around us expect things, they expect us to do or only follow one thing. Sometimes it can be good, and other times not so much. Either way, one thing I have learned is that there is no one place for me to stand. For example, recently I had to make a very hard choice, I had to decide if I wanted to stay in Idaho, find a home in Arizona, or follow my parents to Kansas. What the heck?! It wasn't easy because I had all of these people that I loved and wanted to please, and ultimately spend my time with!

What would you do!? It was so hard, I felt like by making one choice, it would make the other people feel like I didn't love them as much as the others. As I made my choice though, I realized that regardless of where I was, I would be with all of them! By choosing one place to live, I wasn't showing the others that I wasn't there for them, because I get to stand by them even if it's a few states away.

That's only one of the things I've learned about my place. Another thing I've learned is the expectation on beliefs. Our world is so unbelievably close minded. If you are against abortion then you probably hate gays, and love terrorists. On the other side if you're for abortion then you probably smoke pot and hate God, oh and own a Prius. Just putting that in my blog makes my skin crawl. Not only because I said it, but because it's truly how people view others. Well guess what? Just because I believe on thing does not mean that I am closed minded and have the same view on everything else. For instance, I happen to think abortion should be against the law aside from rape, incest, or health of the mother. I also happen to be against the death sentence. I know, I literally just blew your mind. How dare I believe two things that happen to be supported by opposing parties. It's because I have the freedom to make those choices myself. Regardless of what other people think I should believe, or regardless of where I stand, I can stand where I want, and as many places as I want. There is no limit to the possibilities. 

The last thing that has really hit me on finding where I stand, is the timing in my life. I am at this age, this very weird uncomfortable strange age. I've found myself in a divided world. Some people say, stay single, party, graduate from college, then get a career. Some people say find a husband, have some kids, and stay at home and enjoy every moment with them. Then some people tell me to do ALL of the above! I am barely nineteen years old. Every one of these things haunt my every nightmare, and at the same time they haunt me as I walk around and communicate with those around me. But here's what I've learned: there is not one path. There is not one way. There is not one choice. My life is unique to me. Not to what someone else did when they were my age, not to what others think I should be doing. But ultimately my life is between me and my Father in Heaven. He has mapped out so many places for me to go, and things for me to do. As I go through this life doing the simple things he has asked me to do, I will be able to stand in my places and do the AMAZING things he has in store for me. 

So here is my point: you don't have to do something because everyone wants you to do it, or because everyone else thinks its right. You should do everything based on what you think is right! Based on what you want to be and what you think will be the most helpful to you, and even by what you think will help you help others! Every life is different, every person is unique, everyone has a different reason to be happy. Let's be okay with that. Let's stop telling others where they should stand, and worry about yourself, and only encourage people to be good. Stop trying to force good, because in the end that's not good! Take from things what you will,  but don't let others decide your life. 

Big News!!

So I'm the worst blogger ever in the existence of all bloggers but I've got some news that I've been reluctant to share on the internet. Soon I will get back to my regular ranting and raving blogs, and even an update blog, but I feel like I needed to share some information about what I'm dealing with, and explain myself. So here I am, on my blog... I hope no one hates me, or thinks I'm stupid after this. If you do though, just know you're not the first. Try and be more original sheesh. 

Now here comes the information I've been dreading to share. My entire life I've been enthralled with music... Something about it and being a part of it just gives me a great happy feeling. As some of you know, I love it so much that I've been planning a career in music therapy pretty much since I was twelve. It speaks to me, and it still does. The capability to help heal others while using the power of music is absolutely divine. Yet for some reason I feel my life heading somewhere else. When I made the choice to attend BYU Idaho, I didn't know why that was what my Heavenly Father was helping me lean towards. It didn't seem right, but it did. It didn't have music therapy, even though that was my career choice.. But for some reason I still felt the need to go there. My dream had always been ASU but that definitely wasn't where I needed to be. So I went with what I thought was the best option. I enrolled at BYU Idaho as basically a general music major. I took a lot of music classes these past two semesters... And let me tell you, I hated all but maybe two of them. (I can't believe I'm finally admitting that to myself) I did awful in all of them. I didn't want to be there and easy things that I've been doing all my life weren't coming so easily to me.. I didn't know what I was doing. On the other hand... (Brace yourself.. It's about to get weird) I was doing exceptional in my math and science classes. I loved them! This is really hard for me to post online, but I'm considering making a big change in my career path. Instead of being a music therapist, I want to become a Civil Engineer. 

So I know that I haven't always been the brightest bulb in the box, but can people not change? This is something for me to figure out, something that I will work on with my Heavenly Father.

In the meantime, please don't put me down. I've been so afraid to post this because the majority of reactions are along the lines of "you can't do it."

Have you ever been told that you can't do it? Has someone ever implied that you simply are not smart enough or even good enough to follow your passion? Have you ever been told that you can't be a good parent and spouse while holding a job that challenges you to become better? I've been told all of these things within the last two months or so, and literally I've never been so heartbroken. Don't get me wrong I've felt support, from my dad, my cousin and her husband, and some random lady at a yogurt shop, and a few nods of "you could try I guess" but the good has been so little it's hard to feel like I can do it. So to those of you who simply don't think I will be able to do it, do me a favor and turn the other cheek. Instead of lecturing me on how I probably won't be able to do it because it's a lot of work, lecture that if I work extremely hard I could do it. So I don't want any "wow Id never thought YOU would want that" or snarky "good luck with that" comments. If that's what you're thinking. Keep it in your mind please. 

Becoming a civil engineer feels so right. It seems to me that my Heavenly Father new exactly why I needed to be at BYU Idaho, where they don't have a music therapy program, but do have a top of the line Engineering program. I know that as I work hard in life my weaknesses will become my strengths. I have faith that if this is something Heavenly Father wants me to do that I can do it if I remain hard working and faithful. I wasn't put on this earth to do what I thought was best, I was put here to live my life as the person my Heavenly Father needs me to be. Every choice is so critical that I can not take this lightly. I hope that my loved ones won't take it lightly either. 

If I haven't made it clear already, I am serious about this. And if it is a choice I make, I will pour one hundred percent of my effort into being the best civil engineer  I can possibly be. I can't express to anyone how willing I am and wanting I am to pursue this. So if you really care about me, don't tell me I can't do it, encourage me to become a better me whether it's as a civil engineer or a music therapist. Encourage me to grow and learn no matter what. 

Why is life so hard?

Life is awful. Painful. Troubling. Confusing. Terrifying. Great. Yes, great. I know it's hard to think about. If life has all of these challenges and difficulties, what's great about it? 

Let me tell you, no matter how hard life is you are breathing. 

You have lungs to breath, a heart to keep blood flow, and a brain to think. You have so much. So even when life is hard, remember it's not impossible. 

I know this can be hard to digest. Some of us have family and friends who may be broken. Their brain heart and lungs may not work, but for some reason they are still here. That's because they are loved, not only that but they have a magnified ability to love. Never once in my entire life have I met someone who had a disability and a hate towards life. Why? Because when something is taken away from us, it's easier to see how great it was, and how great other things are. Why is life hard? Because if it wasn't why would we need love? Why would we need to be happy? If nothing ever happened to make us sad, nothing would ever happen for us to rejoice in. No matter what belief we have, I believe that if every human honestly looked inside of them they would see the benefits that came from the trials that left scars on their hearts. Everyone of us, if we truley looked, can see the blessings and lessons that came from struggles. I think we can all agree that there is hope through hard times. When we get hurt, if we think "what do I need to take from this?" Instead of "why?" Life won't be so hard. 

With this in mind, I want to speak directly to you. Whether you've accepted it or are still working through I know your hurting. Please don't give up. My best friend posted this quote: "Don't you quit. You keep walking, you keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead." Elder Jefferey R. Holland. Don't you see? This isn't it. It's not the end, keep going! You can do this! There is love all around you. There are lessons you've learned! Look at them, apply them. You know what's right. You can't deny the right inside of you. Do what is right. Keep walking. If you need get on your knees. Christ, he'll help you back up. But please, please don't fall down. Don't turn to the wrong thing because it's hard. Do what you know is best. Remember it will get better. You are loved. I love you.

The New Year

I don't normally do this whole "let me catch you up on my life thing," because I really just like to rave and rant, but I thought I'd give it a go. 2013 was probably the most challenging year of my life yet. This past year is the year that I had to grow up. Nothing will be the same after this year. This year had been a tiny glimpse of what seems to lye in front of me. Starting 2013 was exciting. It was the year that I graduated High School! I was so excited to graduate, but I had the worst case of senioritis known to man. I'm pretty sure that I had it so bad other kids were catching it by looking at me. I was a pretty lazy senior, and let me tell you-- it was great. Graduation was spectacular! It was grand. I felt so much support and love around me as both me and my dad had the opportunity to walk across the same stage, within the same month, and accept diplomas. (Different diplomas obviously.)

 It was a good time, but little did I know what summer had in store. Don't get me wrong, summer was great! I made a lot of new friends, which is pretty cool. I also grew as a person. I spectated things to come, and I tried and tried to prepare myself for these things. The only thing about summer that wasn't so great was my job. I'm pretty sure that I worked at a restaurant that had a huge turn over rate for managers. It was like there was a new manager everyday and none of them were consistent with each other! One of them tells me the right way to do something, and the next day another manager told me it was wrong and a different right way! Basically I was always getting lost in instruction, but after a while it was easy to keep up with all of their quirks when it came to how things got done. Then finally in September, about a month after all of my friends left for college, college finally started for me!

College, well college is crazy. I love it, but I will admit that it was a huge roller coaster. Starting college was the worst. I was leaving ALL of my friends and family to go to a new state that I didn't know, full of people I didn't know. That, that my friends is scary. But I did it, and I went into it with a big smile on my face and it was awesome. It was much better than I could have imagined! Even though I went into it basically alone, I had a bunch of people around me who were also alone...kinda. So basically they were stuck with me.

But all joking aside, it was so fun to start, everyone was kind (some people too kind) but for the most part it was grand. This past semester I faced some serious ups and downs. Ranging from getting sick the second week of school, to missing home more than anything in the world, to only having a total of 56 cents under my name for a week. The good news is that I passed! Not only that, but I learned. I learned that life isn't easy but with hard work, you can do it. I learned to save money, because it sucks to be broke. (Also don't get speeding tickets!) I learned that other people aren't always going to be nice, but to keep my head up and decide to not let other peoples attitude affect me. (That one was the hardest.) I learned that sometimes we feel alone, but that state of mind is only put in my life so that I can grow and learn. I learned that Heavenly Father answers every prayer, but not always the way we want him to. I learned that some hard times also have to be spread out into long periods of time, that way I can really learn from the hardship. I learned that if you miss choir ten times, you will get a C. I learned that women's choir isn't fun. (Actually, its awful.) Let's just say, I learned. After this last semester was all said and done, I finally got to come home and be with my family for two whole weeks!! Two weeks was probably more than I could have asked for, but to be honest two weeks is not long enough. As some people may or may not know, my wonderful dad has landed an amazing job in Kansas. I am so proud of him. At the same time, I have made the decision to not live in Kansas with them once this next college semester is over and that is scary. My parents have given me the best life possible. They have loved me every second of every day and they have only ever done what's best for me. Although I know that they will always be that way to me, I am terrified of the fact that they will be in a completely different state as me for the next five maybe longer years. Yes, we will visit, but it will never be the same. I've been told though, that change is good. This is a good change actually it's a great change! I'm so happy for what great things lie ahead for my wonderful parents, I know that they will do amazing things. Yet tomorrow when I get on the plane, I get on knowing that this chapter of my life, this chapter I've known for the past eighteen years is over. It's all over, it won't be like it is now ever again. Who's to say it won't be better? No one. It may be better, but I get on that plane tomorrow knowing that I have to grow up now. It's my time to figure out what plan it is that heavenly father has in store for me. It's time for me to grow as a person in this world. Most people felt this way when they left for college probably, but I always knew where home was even in college. But now, I'm not going to have this house with two wonderful parents again. When I get on the plane, I leave everything I know. Is time for me to find what Heavenly Father has in store for me. 2014 is going to be a year of discovery. I am looking so forward to this year, but let me tell you, I am going to miss these years. But, this upcoming year is going to be full of excitement and adventure I can just feel it. I am so excited for what Heavenly Father has in store for me. I am so grateful for everything I've ever had and learned, but now it's time for me to start and new chapter. Here's to the year that will change everything! :)

What if we could fix our mistakes?

Today, I had an assignment in which I had to write about a question that was full of thought. That was great because I have an entire blog dedicated to that, my only problem lied in being, what question should I ask. My thoughts turned to this: What if we could travel back in time and fix the mistakes we've made? I came to two conclusions. My first thought was-- That would be wonderful and glorious. I would be so happy if I could just go back and undo all the harm I've done. Unsay the words I've hurt with. Start over every time I do harm. Then I realized that although I'm not the one physically doing that, Christ is. I have hurt people, I have hurt myself, I have done wrong, and yet through Christ I have had the ability to fix those things. I know that Christ helped me to fix the things I messed up. I am so grateful for that. How much love he must have if he goes and fixes every painful and terrible mistake I have ever made, or you have ever made! Our brother loves us. And believe me I love him. The next conclusion I came to, was that I'm glad that I don't have the ability to see my wrongs go away and forget they never happen, and not face consequences.  Although, my sins are taken care of, I still learn from them. If every time I made a mistake I just went and took it back, I would probably end up making that same mistake time and time again. Could you imagine the evil world that would be? "I can murder her because, hey tomorrow I'll make it so it never happened!" Okay- thats extreme but you get the point. Children would never learn that calling someone a bad word is mean, if they could erase it instead of deal with their rightful consequences. Our flaws, our mistakes, our problems define us. These are the things that we work to overcome. Whether we do this in a positive matter or stay negative, it will teach us. And we will become what we take from our mistakes. If we didn't have mistakes, we would never learn. When we make mistakes, we should get up and try try again. How would we ever learn the correct way to love if we didn't know there was a wrong way? Its all a part of life. We need to take the time to decide what we will take from our mistakes, and what we will make of our selves.

How do we find our people?

There are so many people that we have. I can't even express the appreciation for these people. I wish I could understand how to be as wonderful as they are. Everyday I think about how lucky I am to have these people, and how I probably don't deserve them. So let me start answering the question, how do we find OUR very own people.

These are my parents, and some of my people. How did I find them? Well let me tell you, it was not simply by choice or coincidence. It was planned out very thoughtfully by a creator much more powerful than you or I. These people were my very first gift. I was given them for a reason, and I believe that there are many reasons they were given to me. The first reason being to help teach and guide me through my life. They have literally seen me at my best and at my worst and in both situations they have kept my feet firmly on the ground. These people are my ground. They keep me safe and warm. They keep me healthy and happy. They do so much  for ME. They are one of  the best gifts anyone has ever thought to give me. The other reason I think they are mine, is to help teach and prepare them for something greater. Although they wanted more children, that wasn't something that they were able to have. Yet because of this I have seen them rise through our Heavenly Fathers love. I have seen them become strong because they have come to accept that it is all in the Lords time. I'm sure they had days when they asked something like "you gave us her?! Really?!" and yet I never felt anything but love from them. In devotional today, the speaker spoke of having to deal with disrespectful or defying children as being a practice run for the eternities. If a third of their spirit children defy them, they will still have nothing but love for them because of what they have learned in this life. I know my parents are amazing people. I have seen them grow as they watched me grow. I feel so much gratitude and love for them, I wish I had a way to express it. I know that they are my people, and everyone has parents as their people. Whether your parent has passed from this life, or has chosen not to be a part of your life, or whatever it may be, they have taught you something. You have most likely gained strength and learning whether it be because of the mistakes they made or the love they gave. They have affected you in some way, and it molds you into who you are. Our parents are our people first and foremost, and for that we should remember, respect, and love them no matter what we think and feel.

This is my person: Megan. She is the closest thing I have to a sister and I am so grateful to her especially because she added/is adding two more people into my life. 

David

David

I could never express my love for her. I strongly believe that the reason we don't have the same parents is because we needed different trials. That fact gives me much pain, and yet and the same time I am so grateful because she has taught me so much.  She taught me that when you fall, its okay to cry a little, but you better get back up and move on because crying for too long won't fix everything. She helped give me the light of Christ. Her example of wanting to good has always made an impression on me. I have always been able to look up to her, just as I would to a sister or brother. She has made me so strong and I know with everything inside my soul that I can go to her in a time of need and she will pull me out of any problem with one hand. She doesn't let people or things get the best of her, she just always helps others and shows love. She gave me a sorta brother-in-law who is probably turning out to be one of my best friends too! David is so awesome to Megan and me, and I'm so glad she married him! I'm grateful to both of them for giving me the opportunity to be an aunt to Baby Davey. I can not express how excited I am for this little boy to get here!! I am so glad that they are my people. I don't know what I would do without them. I would never sing and dance in cars, I would never get McDonalds at midnight, and I would never have anyone to make me real authentic home made Chinese food. Seriously they are the greatest. So your probably thinking, how do I find my Megan and David? Well just look for that person that has been an example of strength and goodness to you. Find that person who will always be there for you, even when you a butt-head. Find the one who will always make you feel like you belong. If you do that, then you have found your very own Megan and David.

This girl right here is the Bee's Knee's. She also happens to be my best friend. 

This is my person who is my other half. In every way this can be thought of. Our names have been combined into one to create the knew name for us--Pamberly. We taught each other so much, and we still are! Everyday I learn from her! But most of all, I have the most fun with this person right here. I know that I can rely on her to make me laugh! Sometimes I get mad at her for making me laugh, you know those days when you just want to cry and then your best friend says something hilarious and you just laugh but on the inside your mad? Yeah, that's this girl. But honestly I could never truly be mad at her. She is so great and happy all the time, and even when she gets mad it makes me laugh cause shes just so dang funny!! Also the times I do cry around her are so few, because she hardly gives me that chance! She always finds a way to make the bad stuff go away even if its just for an hour or so. Being away from my best friend is so hard. I can't explain the amount of time we spent together because some might say it wasn't healthy, but hey, we were having fun! The memories I have made with this girl are endless, and I can't wait to make more! One time we watched an entire season of a show where brides compete to get nose jobs and plastic surgery, in one night! Just because! Haha! No matter what I'm doing, she always is there and I can't explain how much I miss her! She is my person who knows everything but won't make me dwell on the bad. She keeps me positive and happy all the time. She's my person who knows how I'm feeling even if I try so hard to cover it up. She's my person who will do the most ridiculous things with me, just to have fun... as long as  its not tooo ridiculous. She is just my person, and I'm so glad.

This is my person, Cassie. 

I love her with all of my heart. It was fate that we were meant to be best friends from the  moment our moms both knew they were pregnant! Cass has been around my entire life. Literally, I love the pictures of us when we matched and so on as little girls, and how we have pictures of us matching still. I think its safe to say that we know each other better than we know ourselves. Although we have turned out to be quite different from one another, we still share so much common ground, mostly stemming for our love for one another. Although we can easily irritate one another, I know that Cassie is so amazing and deserves only the best that life has to give, and every day I'm rooting for her to get the best. She is the best. I love her so much. Its her birthday today too! So if you know her please don't forget to wish her the best. Honestly though, she knows exactly what I do, we can relate in so many ways, and yet we can teach each other things we never expected. We grew up together, and I am so grateful for her and all of the things she has done for me. I am so grateful to have her in my life, I can't even explain what we've been through and seen together. We were those little girls that watched and knew what was going on, when everyone thought we had no clue. She's the one I can count on to be there when we attract bears and creepy old men in the woods. She is the one that had matching barbie walkie talkies with. She's the one that I had my first makeover with. We made tablecloths into dresses when we were kids. Me and Cassie? Yeah we're best friends and I love her. You can find your own Cassie by thinking of the person who you grew  up with stuck to your hip. That person that you still consider your best friend no matter what. That person you will always love. Happy Birthday Cassie, I love you!

These people right here, they are some of my new people. 

Sammie, Alexa, and Mishelle. They actually happen to be my rock in this new and strange place I'm in. I'm so glad to have found friends like these girls. Although I'm still getting to know them, they have already taught me so much. They have shown me how to be extremely strong, and how to persevere through hard things. I think that in this first semester of college,  I have faced some of my hardest challenges, ranging from being so broke my bank account balance was .1 to having to accept hard and difficult changes. Although my trials are not even close to being over, these girls have and still are helping me get through them. They have helped me so much especially considering most of my other people are far away from me, they have become my support in a strange world. When I say strange, I mean it. College has some weird crap going on all the time. They have showed me how to live when the only thing I want to do is give up. They became a support system when I felt like I had none, and they don't even judge me! Its great, I'm typing at one in the morning and Alexa's not cutting my throat! I am so grateful for the kindness and love they have shown me, and I'm grateful for the ability to bond with them in the short amount of time that I've known them. How do you find these people in your life? When you are far from home, find the people there to hold your hand while you work on getting home. Find the people who try to understand you, and care about what your going through. Find those that want to help you. And you'll find these people.

There are endless amounts of people I could add to the list of my people, but honestly we would die of boredom if that really happened. All I can say now, is thank you. Thank you to all of the people I mentioned, but even thank you to the people I didn't mention. I couldn't imagine life without my people. Sometimes in life we become lonely. But that is a state of mind. Loneliness never truly exists. We should get ourselves out of that lonely mindest, and find our people. Find the ones who show you how to live. Find a way to give those people something in return. Find your people. 

What Does it Mean to be a Good Person?

How can you and I define a good person? How can I look at someone and judge their character to be good or bad? Is it possible? I don't think so. I believe whole heartedly that there is a chunk of good and a chunk of bad in every person. While I do believe that, I don't believe that it HAS to be that way. Take Christ for example, he was perfect in every way. And yet he still faced a chunk of bad. Now before you rip my head off because I said Christ had the bad too, keep reading. I know that he had temptations of bad things, I know that because I am tempted to do bad things. He atoned for me. He bled from every pore. He felt every sorrow, pain, affliction, and temptation I and you have ever felt. He had those afflictions. Yet he did not let them affect him. That is the most amazing example we could ever have. That is how we can decipher a good person. By saying this, I am not saying to go and judge everyone according to their likeness of Christ. We should start with ourselves. I know personally that I want nothing more than to be a good person, and so I know I must make the choice to be a good person. I have a chunk of bad in me. I am tempted every day to not be good. The choice is mine. I can choose I let the bad affect me or I can choose to let the good outshine the bad. That's how I can be a good person, I just need to look and seek and do all the good I can. Hmm pretty simple I guess.     

Personal Revelation

I was asked to speak on a talk in the May 2012 Ensign titled “How to Obtain Revelation and Inspiration for Your Personal Life.” By Elder Richard G. Scott. This talk is truly amazing and opened my eyes quite a bit to the little things that we may miss in our everyday life. After reading this talk for the first time I decided to break it up into 8 sections that can help us receive personal revelation and inspiration.

Section number one: Revelation is received by praying to Heavenly Father and asking.

Prayer is a huge part to receiving revelation. This week I was scrolling along pinterest as many of you probably do, and I came across an interesting quote. It said “In the morning when I rise, give me Jesus.” I pondered that thought for a while. After mulling it over long enough, I decided to blog about it, it is called "finding Christ." Anyways, in my blog post, I considered the fact that the wording in that quote was wrong. The word give in the context of give this to me, can often seem demanding, having no spiritual content or feeling especially when considering something as special as having Christ by your side. After reading that quote a picture was placed in my mind of a school bully telling a timid boy to “give him his lunch money.” The timid boy might be much more willing to help the bully, if only he said something like “I forgot my lunch money, do you think you could spare some change?” This science can be applied to the receiving of our personal revelation. If we expect to be given guidance without asking, we are internally telling Heavenly Father to “give us the answers.” In that case there is no work or even humble gratitude on our behalf’s.  When we are seeking out revelation or inspiration from our heavenly father we should do so by asking, not by giving internal demands.

 

Section Two: The Holy Ghost Communicates in two ways.

            In Elder Scotts talk, he mentions two ways that our heavenly father communicates with us through the Holy Ghost. The first is crisp, clear, and essential- warranting the title of revelation. The second being series of promptings, which is considered inspiration. I find it interesting that he separated revelation and inspiration. Elder Scott states they are two different things given in two different ways communicated by the same spirit even though revelation can guide inspiration. Let me lay out some definitions. The definition of revelation courtesy of the bible dictionary is “The making known of divine truth by communication with the heavens and consists not only of revelation of the plan of salvation to the Lord’s prophets but also a confirmation in the hearts of the believers that the revelation to the prophets is true. It also consists of individual guidance for every person who seeks for it and follows the prescribed course of faith, repentance, and obedience to the gospel of Jesus Christ.” This shows us that revelation is something needed right away. The word revelation is tied to the word reveal. If we are receiving revelation it will be revealed to us all together as Heavenly Father would have it be.  The google definition of inspiration is “the process of being mentally stimulated to do or feel something, esp. to do something creative.” In second timothy 3:16 it says “All scripture is given by inspiration of God” My point here is that when the prophets wrote the scriptures it was not revealed all at once. They were inspired over a long period of time, receiving small bits of revelation here and there so that they would be inspired. So as revelation and inspiration are very much tied together, Elder Scott shows the two separate things, by how they come so that we can be more attentive to receiving revelation and inspiration.

 

Section Three: Revelation and Inspiration can help us Magnify Relationships Exceeding Past the Veil.          Joseph Smith said “We are closely related to our kindred, to our ancestors . . . who have preceded us into the spirit world. We can not forget them; we do not cease to love them; we always hold them in our hearts, in memory, and thus we are associated and united to them by ties that we can not break. . . . If this is the case with us in our finite condition, surrounded by our mortal weaknesses, . . . how much more certain it is . . . to believe that those who have been faithful, who have gone beyond . . . can see us better

than we can see them; that they know us better than we know them. . . . We live in their presence, they see us, they are solicitous for our welfare, they love us now more than ever. For now they see the dangers that beset us; . . . their love for us and their desire for our well being must be greater than that which

we feel for ourselves.” Joseph Smith received this wonderful revelation from God so that we can receive our own comfort here on earth. As we take the time to try and receive personal revelation and inspiration from God, our testimonies of the plan of salvation and the concept that families can be together forever will grow. It is so amazing that when in a time of sorrow and pain caused by the loss of a loved one, that our father in heaven takes the time to give us comfort through revelation in knowing that we  will be happily reunited with those that we have lost in this life. We can receive even more comfort by the prophets guidance. Joseph Smith tells us that our family members on the other side of the veil have become so close to us that they are always there. It is an amazing feeling to know of the abiding love and support given to us all from those on the other side of the veil. Revelation and inspiration can assure us that there is always someone rooting for us to make a homerun.

Section Four: Following Practical Principles can Enhance Revelation.

            Elder Scott gives us five basic things that we can follow everyday that will enhance our personal spiritual ability to receive revelation. The first principle is to “yield to emotions such as anger, hurt, or deffensivness.” This principle can keep unneeded contention in our lifes, making it more possible for us to love and serve others as Jesus and Heavenly Father would have us do. The second principle is “being cautious with humor and loud inappropriate laughter.” As I read this I felt myself being called to repentance. I find it particularly difficult to steer clear of humor that might harm another. It has been accepted so kindly to make fun of others and sacred things, and these things will drive the spirit away. Elder Scott is not saying that we should not laugh loud. I believe what he is saying is that there is a time and a place, but you better make sure it’s the right time and place, or we might miss out on a special gift our Father in Heaven was trying to bestow. The third principle is that “careful quiet speech will favor the receiving of revelation.” The fourth principle is that we should maintain good health practices. These include exersise, sleep, and eating habits. These things definitely will not come easy in the college setting when our typical lifes include hours of homework, partys, and ramen, but if we go the extra mile to follow this counsel we will and can be blessed. The fifth principle he gives is to “not let daily activities disrupt from the spirit.” We must decipher for ourselves what we can and cant do, but you should make extra caution to keep the spirit with you in your choices.

Section Five: Revelation can be Given in Dreams.

            Elder Scott talks about Heavenly Father communicating with us through our dreams. He said that “it is the Lord doing the teaching through the Holy Ghost. However, He may in a dream make it both easier to understand and more likely to touch our hearts by teaching us through someone we love and respect.” When the Lord teaches us through dreams it will be an extremely sacred experience from beginning to end that we should record right away so that we can have that experience with us for a lifetime.

Section Six: Recording Spiritual Experiences.

            In any important spiritual experiences it is vital that we take the time to record what happens and what we learn. Recording these experiences will show to our Heavenly Father the amount of gratitude and appreciation to him for the things that he is sharing for us. It shows that we value these things to be sacred. Recording sacred experiences also allow us to recall the experience better. There is a reason that our patriarchal blessings are recorded. We should also keep sacred recordings under lock and key so that we do not ruin the sacredness of something our Heavenly Father gave us.

Section Seven: The Scriptures can Give us Confirmation.

            The scriptures can help us understand and feel the truth of the gospel in our everyday lives. In the scriptures, there are countless stories of people who were going through a bad time, or they had a difficult task, yet no matter what as these people trusted in the Lord things always turned out for the better. Take Nephi for example. Nephi is one of my favorite prophets of old because of his love and commitment to the savior. When Lehi and his family had left the city, Nephi and his brothers were commanded to go back and retrieve the records of the ancestors from Laban. As the song goes, “laman and lemuel were both afraid to try” but as we know from nephi 3:7 Nephi was not afraid, saying “I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded, for I know that the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men save he shall prepare a way for them that they may accomplish the thing which he commandeth them.” What an example we have. Nephi was in a tough situation. First off he had to leave his family and deal with grumpy brothers. Second he had to deal with a wicked and proud man. Third he probably had no understanding of why or what was going to happen. Yet Nephi knew that the Lord had commanded it and that it was something of significant value that needed to be done. We can take Nephi’s example into our own life as we try and live thee gospel and follow the commandments. We can receive revelation of the truth of the gospel by following Nephi’s example by going forth and doing the things the lord hath commanded. As we follow these countless examples from the scriptures we will feel and understand the truth of the gospel in our own lives.

Section Eight: Trusting in the Lord.

            This section can go along with the story of nephi. As he trusted in the lords commandments, good things came to pass. It is the same thing in our lifes here today. I can personally testify to you that trusting in the Lord is the best way to understand things in our lives. This is my first semester here at BYUI. Its been wonderful, but it has also been extremely difficult. I have newly found the joyus stress that accompanies the burdens of carrying your own responsibility. As a fresh college student, I pretty much felt like I was on top of the world. I am on my own for the first time- which is great, but believe me, I miss my parents taking care of everything for me. I came up here with enough money to last me for a good while until I found a job. Well, being so slap happy, I spent most of my money in the first two weeks. All of the sudden I was as broke as a dad on his daughter’s wedding day. I didn’t know what to do. That upcoming week I was able to have the opportunity to go to general conference and so my parents gave me what should have lasted me. While we were down there I came to the realization that I did not have enough money to get home. Luckily I have some awesome friends who made for positive that we would get home. I finally felt better, like everything was going to work out and  we could get home and I would be broke, but secure for the next two weeks or so when suddenly I got pulled over and found myself with a ninety dollar ticket in my pocket, due less than three weeks later. I was broken. I had no idea what I was going to do. People kept trying to help, but I knew that this was something I had to do on my own. I was so stressed that a single word or two could completely shut me down into a crying ball of sadness. My parents kept telling me calm down, trust in the Lord and it will all work out. For this I am grateful. My parents were giving me special advice that was sure to help me. As I took their advice things started to fall into place. I found out that if I sold my plasma I could make eighty dollars and my parents were giving me seventy five dollars for groceries. That should have covered it. I would have used all of that on groceries and my ticket. Somehow my groceries were about what they usually were and I found myself with about thirty extra dollars. I know that it was not logically supposed to work out, and yet it did. It showed me that trusting in Heavenly Father gave me inspiration to know and understand that when faced with hard things, if we turn to our Father in Heaven, he will pour the blessings upon us. It only takes a little trust.       Sometimes it is hard for us to keep our eyes open to the Lord trying to guide us through the Holy Ghost. I know that as we follow these 8 things and other divine principles given to us by the Lord that we will be uplifted in a feeling of happiness and love. Our Father in Heaven has many important things that he is looking to share with us. We must be willing and ready to learn and understand these things. We need to be spiritually and physically prepared to accept what the Lord has to offer us. I would like to bare my testimony that I know these things are true. I know that Heavenly Father uses the Holy Ghost to guide us and keep us protected. I know that when we listen to the Holy Ghosts promptings we will feel blessed and loved. I know that families can be together and I am so grateful for the temple and its sealing powers that make it possible for me to love for eternities. I know that Thomas S. Monson is a true prophet placed upon the earth to teach us what our Father in Heaven would have us hear. I know that Christ atoned for my sins so that I would have the opportunity to be made perfect in the sight of God. I love this gospel and I know without a single doubt in my mind that it is true.

Finding Jesus

Hmm. I was just scrolling along Pinterest when I found this picture. It's pretty, and I guess it has a nice touch and feel... But something about it makes my skin crawl. 

"Give me Jesus." GIVE HIM TO ME RIGHT NOW.... WHEN I WAKE UP I WANT HIM THERE. 

It's sad really.... As I ponder the expression that is being gifted with these words, I keep coming to the conclusion that maybe they are phrased wrong. 

What people may not understand, is that Jesus was already given to us. Every day he is there. Every day we have him. He died for our every day. So why do we need him to be given to us again? I don't understand why someone would say that? Because they feel that loss in their own hearts? Why? I feel like when someone says that, they are demanding God that they get the love and healing powers that Jesus provides. First off, this is a privilege. Christ will always love you, and he died for your sins, but you will NOT feel that love or forgiveness unless you are doing all you can do to welcome that love into your own life. This phrase makes me think that someone would actually want him to continue suffering so that they could have their own happiness. Let me tell you, that is not how it works. 

When you rise, instead of saying "Give me Jesus" say a prayer. Read your scriptures. Preform an act of kindness. Love until your heart is broken and others hearts are overwhelmed. Make it a point to welcome Jesus Christ into your own life. It's no one else's duty, or obligation to give you Christ. If we feel a loss from him, we must go and find him. In the morning when I rise I will find Jesus. After all, that is what this life is about. We are here to become our very best and to learn and grow so that one day we can return to live with our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ, our brother, through his atoning sacrifice. 

So please, I beg you, don't demand Christ. Go find him. 

Don't be dumb.

There is something so sick, wrong, and demented with my generation. Ladies, this may be the dumbest thing I've ever seen. Please stop posting it. If you base your marriage off of a few happy tears your husband might shed when he sees you in a way overpriced dress you'll wear once, please don't get married. That's not what it's about. It bothers me that people take marriage so lightly. Marriage is so serious. You are no longer your own person. When you get married life is no longer about you and what you want, it turns into your spouse and what they want. You should consider how everything you do and say will affect your spouse. You should always want to be your best and do your best for them. I don't know anything about marriage, please don't get me wrong. I am not an expert, but this picture, and this post that keeps going around is a piece of crap. Cut it out. Not everyone cries, happy or sad tears. If them not crying at your beauty makes you want to turn around and leave, even if its just a thought, even if your joking, clearly you need to do some soul searching. Please if you feel this way, don't get married. It's not how it works. Don't be dumb. 

How Do You Know You've Been Blessed?

There are some things in life that we take for granted. One of the easiest things to take for granted is a friendship. A friendship can be so hard to hold on to. People grow up, move on, life goes on without one another. Fortunately though, on rare occasions Heavenly Father will place people in your life that will literally make life an amusement park. How do I know I've been blessed? Look at these pictures. Each one of these pictures bring me back these amazing memories with the most generous loving people I have had the opportunity to meet in this lifetime. Heavenly Father blessed me with an amazing support system throughout my life and High School especially. My 17th Birthday when everyone accommodated my want and dressed up all vintage like. The first youth conference when we hit it off. When we went to the haunted farm and corn maze. When we all played paint twister for Maggie's 16th Birthday and then washed up and went to the movies. When we dragged a couch around the city and pulled it out in front of the baseball  field during a game. When we went to an Ice Skating activity, and I didn't fall and hit my head, mostly because I was too afraid to skate anyway. When the girls went to see the Batman premiere and Batman and Joker both showed up. When Maggie and Orville escorted me around Walmart wearing Storm Trooper Masks. This doesn't even begin to cover all of the amazing good times I've been lucky to have with these kids. They have literally helped shape who I am today. They are all a blessing in my life. Every. Single. One. Of. Them. There is no way that I could name all of the memories we've had. One of the saddest things I will ever have to do is leave this behind. I have had a lifetime of friends like these. Some of them have even been my friends for a lifetime. One of the best things about our group is that we like all relationships, have had some bumps in the road. Whether it be jealousy, or not thinking of others feelings, or judgments made without truth. Its safe to say that its been a rocky road. But every night we spent anytime together, no matter who was mad at who, there were always hugs and thoughtful words of goodbye. Even if someone was mad at someone else, we still got along! There were never screaming breakout fights. Although there were a few interventions... Most of the time we put our differences aside and shared memories regardless of what might have been going on. I don't know... Its definitely a  hard relationship to describe, but I know that these people were a blessing from God to me. From destroying Sam's house with toilet paper once every year to playing chubby bunny with huge marshmallows or tiny gummy bears. This kiddos always made my days brighter and nights longer. Like I said though, people move on, grow up, life goes on. Sadly that's happening, well for me. Slowly our relationships have become distant. That's okay though. It just means that all of us are having new doors opened in our lives. Going to college will be weird without these kiddos. Especially when my best friend wont be there. Yet its good to know that no matter what, I know that I could go to anyone of these kids with anything in the world, and they would be there for me. That my friend, is how I know I've been blessed. 

What Does God Have in Store?

There's one thing that I've struggled with my entire life. It's nothing big. It's a blessed struggle. I count my lucky stars that its the hardest thing I've had to face. Some people would say that it's not even a struggle. They would say that I'm just thinking about myself. Well they would be right there. My biggest struggle in this world is being an only child. Yeah you probably just laughed and rolled your eyes, and I don't really blame you. Yeah I am a spoiled brat. But one thing I will always miss out on that you have, is the love of two siblings. My parents may have been able to buy me a car because they don't have six mouths to feed. But let me tell you, I would trade that car for a brother or sister any day. I think that those other only children out there can attest to this also. It's not my parents fault. They didn't choose this, it's no ones fault. It's just the way it is. Heavenly Father had something else in store. It's good to know that eventually my mother will get to raise other children. It's good to know that I have spirit brothers and sisters. It's just hard, in this life, to be alone. I won't be able to go to my little brothers football game. I won't get to help my little sister get ready for prom or her first date. I won't get to give my little brother advice on girls or set him up on dates. It just won't happen. I won't get to fight with a sibling and know that at the end of the day I will love them no matter what. All of these things and more have become things I live with. Yeah it may not seem like it's a big deal. It's just sad. I will say though, that the family I was put in was not by accident. God new exactly who and what I needed. Being an only child has helped me learn and grow and be independent and yet so dependent on Christ. It's has given me a relationship with my savior that I don't think I would have if I had siblings. Christ is my brother. He's the closest thing I ever have had to a brother and the closest I will ever get to a brother. His love or me was so strong that he died for me. He bled from every pore in his body. For me. Christ did it so that I could live with our dad again one day. He literally gave everything he had to make sure that I could always be a part of the huge family we have.  He knows every pain, weakness, and strength I have. He knows every thing I've ever done. I can follow him. Heavenly Father didn't give me siblings, and I believe a big part of that was to help me understand that I have siblings. Everywhere. He gave me a love and bond with Christ. The best brother in the whole world. The best brother I could have ever asked for. I can go to him, and he will make me feel better. I love it so much. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that although I have had this struggle to face, it wasn't without cause. If you have siblings on earth with you, please love them with every inch of your soul. Let them know how wonderful they are. Remember to be there for them no matter what. If they mess up be there to help fix it. They need you and you need them. For those of you like me, who didn't have siblings, or maybe lost your sibling, remember that you are not alone. Your never alone. God has a plan for you. Just keep looking for it. So that's the point. No matter what your situation may be, remember that God has something in store. Because he loves you. He knows you. He loves you.

Heros

A hero can be anything, and mean anything. A hero can be a best friend who came to you in a time of need. It could be a sudden savior by accomplishing a physical rescue. It could simply be a parent or any figure that leads by example. Tonight though, I see 19 brave firefighters who are the epitome of a hero. What more can a person do then give their life to protect others. Today 19 firefighters died fighting a fire in Yarnell Arizona. The wind shifted the fires direction to fast and the 19 heroes were unable to escape. I'm lying here in my comfortable bed, with all of the luxury in the world, listening to the wind blowing outside. Listening to the same wind that they faced. I want nothing more than to run outside and make it stop. I want to make the fire go away. I want to bring those firefighters back. But we can't always get what we want. Luckily, because of people like the ones we lost today we can get pretty darn close to getting what we want. But haven't you noticed, the more you want it, the harder it is to get. I can't help but turn to my Father in Heaven and understand that he loves us. I sit here thinking that it's not fair. Children are going to bed tonight knowing that they will not be tucked in by a parent. Parents are watching the news praying with every piece of their heart that their child is okay. Spouses are crying realizing that the words I Love You may not be spoken for a very, very long time. I want to give those people back their loved ones. I want that so bad! We all do! But we can't. The one thing we can do though, is to give them hope and peace and comfort. To everyone who was not firsthand affected by this, I hope you pray for them. I hope that we can all take this time to realize how grateful we are for our heroes. I hope that anyone who reads this goes to their hero and gives them the love and appreciation they deserve. These firefighters were real heroes. They were protecting us, now we need to return the favor and do all we can to give their friends and family the comfort and safety they are searching for. I know that God has something in store. We all just need to wait it out a while. Hang on and don't let go. We need to come together. And stay together. A tragedy like this, shouldn't be the reason we all unite. We are "one nation under God..." So lets act like it! Lets always remember how it was to come together like this and work for one thing, keep one purpose in mind. Keep us united, together. If we take anything away from what happened, it should be to never take anything for granted and to work towards the greater good. We can get through this together. We can get through anything together. Just don't give up. Be like these heroes and try your best until the end. It will be okay. 

The more time that goes by, the faster we are forced to grow up.

Children, I don't think, have a real grasp on the concept of time. I remember from my own childhood that night and day made no difference to me. I did know that one I was awake for and the other I was asleep for, but in all truthfulness I would have rather never slept. It's amazing how I've gone from that desire to never sleep, to wanting more than anything to sleep all of the time. Why? Because now I know more than I used to. I think teenagers and adults rely so much on sleep not only because we are running around all crazy like, but also because we have so much on our plates that sleep becomes an escape from reality. When we become so busy that our minds are running wild, we usually turn to sleep. Our brain tells us thats what we want. To sleep, because it gives us a break.
Now what does this have to do with time and growing up? I don't know..it's five in the morning and all I want is sleep and my brain won't let me have it... Therefore I think I just decided to talk about it instead. But I think it toss in with the stress thing. The more time that goes by in a persons life, the more there is to worry about. Babies never have to worry about being "normal" or forming into society. No, because they are heka cute and everyone loves them. But the second a child steps foot into a pre school or kindergarten class, they all of the sudden have to worry about making friends and being "normal." That's just kindergarten! The older you get the more there is to worry about, and soon enough you realize that there are never ending things to stress over. Soon enough you grow up and realize everything will not be how you imagined. Soon enough you grow up. It really seems like in our society "soon enough" is to soon. I feel like we have our own obligations to help each other not feel like its to soon. The only way to fix this large disease that we have all been implanted with is to trust in knowing that everything will be okay. What goes up must come down. What is bad will become good. It's the constant fight between good and evil. In the end what is right will always win against evil things. These are some things we always have to remember while facing challenging stressful times. We have to stay calm and remember that it's for a larger purpose than maybe eve we know. We have to look for the good. If you look for the good in life, you will find it.

Have we become so foolish as to forget this quickly?

I think we all know what I'm talking about. I am completely disappointed in the way we have acted today. Forgotten, it's all been forgotten. Do you not remember 9/11? Is that your excuse? Did you even realize that today was the eleventh anniversary of that tragic attack that tried to bring our country down? Ten years? That was enough of our pride and our unity. Ten years that's all we needed to come together and remember. Ten years is up we are at the eleven year mark and so it doesn't affect us anymore? Is that how we view this? When we have children will they even begin to understand the devastation that came with that horrible and gloomy day? We were there. We were all there. Whether we were in the buildings, in the plane, on the street, at school, out for breakfast, at work, at home just waking up, wherever we were, we were there. We all saw the videos. We all cried. We all prayed. We all felt sympathy for those who were affected directly. In the end we were all affected. Is that why we are choosing to slowly care less? Because its to sad for us to handle? Is that what it is? That's pathetic if it's your excuse. Pathetic. People died. People became heroes and died saving those who could not save themselves. People from the street ran to save those inside. People inside ran to jump out because falling six hundred feet was better than being trapped in a burning building. America was helpless. Where did we turn to? After all we were always the country who helped other countries. Things like that didn't happen in America. This was new, so what do we do. Me and my classmates LOST a part of our childhood that day. Do you not understand that? As all children are, we were oblivious to war and people hating other people. We were innocent. That day though, we witnessed hate. Hate. Pure hate. We lost our security blankets. We had always thought nothing like that could happen, then we watched it happen. How were we supposed to stay the innocent children we were when we watched men drive planes into buildings to kill the people
Inside. All so they could send a message. How were we supposed to feel safe after that? I don't think we have ever gained that back fully. When our parents came to wake us up and they were crying. Some of us had never seen their parents cry. Not like that anyway. I remember tying my shoes when I watched the second plane crash into the building. I didn't know what to think. I tried to convince myself it wasn't real. What were the teachers supposed to say to us? How do you explain that to a child?! And here we are eleven years latter and it's just a day that marks something that was important. No. I'm ashamed that we have lost our love that quickly. In my class today, a boy said "today's depressing, I woke up late, forgot to do my homework, it's raining, and I didn't get to eat any breakfast." he apparently forgot. Did people forget how children kissed their daddy goodbye and never had the chance to say hello? Or that spouses said "I love you, have a nice day." and never got to ask them how their day was? Did we forget? I hope that I never become so foolish as to not care, or pretend it didn't happen. I hope I have the courage to tell my children stories about the heroes that day. I hope our country doesn't forget and make it another forgotten thing. It will always affect us, and the future generations.
I hope we always remember the day that all of us took part in. 9/11.

Future Husband????

Okay I know this seems really weird and awkward and whatever you're thinking, especially cause I was going to write about the other way of pleasing others... sorry. I promise I'll get to it. So this is something I've been thinking about a lot lately, and I have been debating about writing about it until today when I saw this quote "Pray for your future husband everyday because you never know what trial, temptation, or struggle he is facing." Holy cow! That put it straight into perspective. I mean really think about it, my future husband isn't just a part of  my imagination, (although I'm only dreaming about him now.) He is really truly out in the world somewhere! Knowing that he's going through a lot of the same things I am, and that he is being just as patient as I am, and that he is fighting off worldly things for me, just as I am for him makes me feel better. I know that he is out there thinking about his future, and how it will involve me! That's so comforting. Although I may or may not know him, we still have each others back. At least I have his! I do pray for him, I don't know him but that doesn't matter because he needs blessings just like I do. I stay worthy for him and I know he is staying worthy for me, because I will not lower myself for someone who is not worthy. It wont happen. So he may be doing it not realizing that he's doing it for me, but that is a part of the reason why he is out there somewhere being a worthy priesthood holder, so that we can get married in the temple, and have eternity! Isn't that so special! I don't know. I feel like I'm talking about nothing. I guess I'm just trying to say that it feels good to know that me trying so hard to stay worthy isn't for nothing, it's for him, because one day he will be my world. The fact that he will be my world is great to, because the way I act now can control my future world with him. Fact of the matter, even if you feel weird doing it don't be afraid to pray for your future husband or wife, because they probably need it just as much as you do. After all we are all just humans.