Why are we always trying so hard to please others?

Where do I even begin? In every single way this post is my fault. Warning to anyone who dares to read: this may cause irritation from my obsessive venting about self created problems. In life there are two main ways we forget our selves to please others. It just so happens that one way is absolutely amazing and good (although extremely stressful). And the second is tragic.

Way number one: Always helping others no matter your situation.
This one is the good one. In ways we receive more blessings while we are struggling to get by, and still helping others. As stressful as it may be to have an empty tank of gas, or no time to do homework, just being a student overall, it always makes you feel just the slightest bit better to help someon in need. Sometimes it can be difficult though, because it's so hard to help EVERYONE! As badly as I want to just let everyone who is in pain feel better, and those who feel lonely to know they aren't alone, and those who feel unloved feel loved, I just can't. And it breaks every muscle bone and tissue of my body. It is the saddest thing in the world that I can't do everything for everyone. I wish more than anything that I could. I wish I wish I wish. If anyone has figured out how to do it, please tell me your secret! If you have ever felt like I wasn't there for you or like I just didn't care, I'm sorry!!!! I'm trying so hard to be there for you an focus on you, but it's extremely difficult when there are five other voices asking me something else. I'm sorry. I'm really trying. I'll talk about the second way tomorrow cause I'm sure you are all receiving brain hemorrhages from reading this, and it's just to much for me to think about this late. Goodnight I love you, remember who you are, I'll try and do everything I can for you, if I dot live up to expectations, please forgive me. I am only human.

What makes us individuals?

Where do I start with this one? What doesn't make us individuals?! For one, scientifically none of us are the same. We all have our very own special strand of DNA even though some of us have matching pieces, we all have our own assortment. We all have our own face, and body shape. We all have different color hair, even though some are close shades. We all have different size and shape of teeth. Etc. So physically we are all different, even though we may be close in some aspects there is no one who is exactly like you. Now let's move on to the unscientific part. We all have our very own names. Some girl at your school may have your first name your middle name or your last name, but she doesn't have the same FULL name as you! That's your own! Next is our personalities. Something I think we should pay more attention to (but we don't) is that every singe person has a different personality! Some parts of someone else's personality you may not like, but please get over it. They are who they are! Let them be that way! Don't try to change someone else's personality! Realize that maybe the way they act is just the way the are. Don't get mad or hate them, because it's likely that someone feels the same way about parts of your personality, but they probably put up with it. I know at least one person does! Because your special! There's only one you, and parts of you they love and can't find anywhere else! For example, I have a friend that I can just talk to for hours on end, but she has the worst sense of humor. Not funny at all! But she has amazing insight and is awesome to talk to! Then I have a friend that is just hilarious, but when it comes to being serious there's no luck! But it doesn't even matter because I can't find anyone else with his humor! Those things are original! I love the "weird" or "odd" things about other people! They are so awesome cause then it gets you thinking about how cool it is that they do something different! And they stand out in their own way! How cool is that?! Gosh! I just love everyone's differences! We could never be sad without them, and we could never be happy if we weren't sad. Everyone's uniqueness is what creates true joy in our society. Now we just need to learn how to celebrate it! I dare you, celebrate your youness!!! :) :) :)

Isn't it just awesome that we can all make our own choices?!

One of the greatest things we have been given is our free agency!!!! We get to choose what we do! No matter what anyone tells you or what anyone does, you make your choices. We just have to remember that we can NEVER blame anyone for something we do. They can't force us to do anything! It's all our own personal decisions. Now depending on our deductions we may have rewards or consequences, but it the end we probably made our decision knowing what the outcome will be. Your life is all what you goose to do with it. No one else can do that.

Why do humans permanently mark their bodies?

Whats the point of getting a tattoo or crazy multiple piercings or other things like that? What does it do for you? Look good for a couple of years? What about when you get old and wrinkly and that pretty tattoo with the heart turns into a butt because your skin is sagging everywhere. And those three inch wide gages?! How does your ear not rip? The pain! Why? What is it worth? Why do we purposely scar our bodies? I don't understand. This question is one that I can never answer for myself. Oh well, its their body, let them do with it that they want. They must like it.

Who is that weird blonde girl that follows me around?

 Little Amberly!

HAPPY SHARK WEEK!!

I told you we like to draw!

This is us at the end of the world... like a year ago.

Mormon Prom!!

This donkey was missing an ear but it looks like a unicorn. We like unicorns.

Yes. I've given in to my best friends request to write about my best friend. If you ever get confused, we go by Pamberly or Amberpam. Why is she my best friend? Well you see, it all started when we were three. I was little miss pink princess, and she was get the heck away from me I'm trying to watch the game. We didn't get along much, but I was very envious of the fact that her and the other kids were all friends and I was lonely. At her seventh birthday party, she invited all the other kids from church and her mom made her invite me so I wouldn't feel left out. I bought her play dough. That's when we started to become friends. She really liked that play dough. Anyways, slowly but surely all of the other kids at church moved away and as she grew further apart from them we grew closer together! It was great. I was no longer lonely, I had a friend. We were just friends though. There was not best yet. until we got about ten. Then we became best friends. We would draw ugly pictures during Sunday school, and pretty much terrorize our teacher... We were major rebels. Then we turned twelve and entered young women's and pretty much started growing up. We started to find less friends outside of church that we could trust. People were becoming more open to trying out risky things, and we were the girls with major fears of sharks (Amberly) and birds (me). But hey! It works well together. So pretty much since then we have become inseparable. Everyone knows were best friends. My cousins are so used to her being around that we just tell people that shes our cousin too. They usually believe us. Most people think we really are cousins by marriage.  Though I'm pretty sure if we went all the way back to Adam and Eve, we are definitely related. Oh and we were sisters in the premortal existence so it counts anyway. Yeah so now we watch the office and netflix and we go to sonic happy hour and pay in all change. We basically rule everything. Kinda... Yeah were cool. Shes really good and sports and stuff, if you ever need someone to play basketball volleyball softball or what ever sport it is, you should call Amberly. She knows what shes doing. Its kinda sad though, cause I'm a senior and shes a junior. This year is our last year! (unless she ends up going to BYUI too, shes thinking about it!) Anyway, shes convinced that she will be all alone when I leave to college, so I think you guys should be her friend when I go. You can be her friend now to. You just have to be friends with both of us for now. Its okay though Amberly, we can skype and stuff. I will only be one phone call away! And I promise to attend your graduation. Whenever something happens in a public crowd with one of us or one of our family members, you will most likely hear a yell of "That's my best friend!" or "that's my best friends mom!" Or something else. Yeah we are just that cool.

How do we naturally just create amazing bonds with other people?

What is it that makes us love other people so much? Seriously?! It seems like a second language to jut make a friend and create a long lasting bond with anyone who treats you as friendly as possible! How does that happen? Is it because we are all interconnected? Because we are all just humans, and one of us is no better nor worse than the other? What makes us fall in love? And what makes have everlasting friends? And what makes a family member family? I think there is only one answer to this. It's a person who will love you, care for you, and stand by your side NO matter what you've done, what you've said, who you've hurt, or anything else. Those are the people who love you. Those are the people we should look to keep in our life. Those are the people I love, and they are the people I'm lucky enough to have.

Why are people so nosy?

Today while visiting with someone very dear to me heart, she asked me out of frustration with people "Why are people so nosy?!" Immediately I realized that people are ridiculously nosy. Why? That is such a good question! I mean I think we can all be guilty of being nosy, but in the end why are we so rude? Did we ever stop to think that maybe the person we are being nosy towards simply doesn't want to talk about it? HUH?! And its not even that, its almost like no one cares about anything good or exciting that happens they don't want to be in your business when you get a promotion or straight A's. No. People only want to be all up in your business when there is something wrong, or you messed up and did something bad. Then they want to know allll about it. I think before we ask someone a question maybe we should stop and think about how they might feel by us asking that question. When a kid comes to school with a new cast, they probably have to explain it about thirty times to groups of people. When people get called into their managers office, every other employee wants to know what you talked about. When relationships don't work out, its all of the sudden everyone's business. Seriously people? I think what I've learned about being in other peoples business, is to not be. If I do notice something is different or that something happened, etc. I treat them just like I would any other day. Not because I don't care, that's not it at all. It's because its probably a breath of fresh air for them. Instead of me suffocating them with my questions, they probably enjoy feeling normal. So I try not to ask, please if you expected me to ask you something about your personal life try not to take offense I'm just trying to give you a break. But if I did bother you and get in your business, please forgive me, I'm still human, and after all I'm just trying to find the answers in life just like you. So basically if you don't tell me about whatever it may be, I will try my very best not to ask about it. Its just rude.

Why are girls self esteem's so low?

I have very many different beliefs on why girls (teenagers) have low self esteem. I even myself was born into the teenage world with a low self esteem but fortunately for me the people in my life let me know how great I am. I think that every teenage girl should have someone in their life that lets them know how amazing they are. It would help boost so many girls opinion of themselves. So why do girls seem to have an automatic low self esteem? Reason number one: Media. Magazines, television, movies, celebrities, etc. All of these things create the ideal woman. A 5'6" size two with gorgeous eyes perfect make up big boobs and amazing at everything every man is "looking" for. That's what girls compare themselves to. No wonder they feel so bad about themselves. Hardly any of those girls exist and if they do they are famous and let me remind you they may be close to that but there's things like photo shop. They aren't even real. Reason number two: the way the world views the role of a woman. In almost every movie and television show, the woman is the sexy sidekick there to well be sexy. That's lovely. So now because the men in the movies treat women a certain way, men in real life treat women a certain way. Because men in real life treat women a certain way, women act a certain way. Well ladies, just so you know, you're NOT a piece of meat. Don't treat yourself that way, and don't let any man treat you that way. Reason number three: morals have become so low they are almost completely gone. In the fifties people were classy. Girls didn't wear skirts above the knee or shirts that plunged to their belly button. Now girls wear skirts and shorts that are shorter than their butt cheeks and they where shirts that are invisible or literally plunge like a freaking clogged toilet. (Sorry I had to say it.) It's sad because parents don't look at their daughters and say, "You are worth so much more than that outfit." Parents don't say "Go change into something I can respect you in." The worst thing is that every girls thought process is "I'll wear this because he will think my legs are sexy." If a guy notices you because of your "sexy legs" you don't want him, because that most likely means he wants the next girl because of her "sexy legs" as well. "Sexy legs" don't make you special to any man. It makes you another girl that puts disgusting thoughts into a boys head. Why has no one explained to those girls that its so much better for a man to have thoughts about you yourself, not getting you into bed. So no it doesn't surprise me that girls have low self confidence. If your one of those girls, I really hope you can understand how much your worth. And if your one of those adults who complains about how "terrible our generation is" maybe you should stop for a second and wait to make sure that you have tried to help a girl realize her worth, because I don't think you understand the pressure that is put on women today to be nothing but sexy. Instead of being the aunt grandparent or parent who complains, be the adult who sets the example and help your niece granddaughter or daughter feel loved and worth something and maybe you'll save a short skirt and a show called sixteen and pregnant. And don't forget to help the boys in your life understand that women are to be treated with respect, whether or not the women treats herself with respect. A real man will ALWAYS treat a lady with respect, if they don't, they  aren't a real man.

Why is monetary value the only thing important in our world?

It seems to me that in our world, the leaders of our country and even other countries only care about money! It makes me sick that our leaders can see that there are people in Africa that need our help but instead we are going to egypt to try and stop a fight so that our oil and gas prices will stay down. Are you kidding me?! Another reason money bothers me is because it creates ruthless power. People can not seem to get enough of it but the only thing it does is cause problems. People are homeless because they don't have enough money to own or rent, then people are buying fancy toilets because they don't know what to do with all of the money they have. That's really unfortunate. Money causes problems, you can't eat without money, you can't be clothed without money, you can't drive without money, you basically can't live without money. Our world has come to be a strict monetary world, but why can't we just go back to getting along and helping eachother out without using money as a standing point and a difference between what you can and can't do. The bottom line is that money can be good it's a system and it works well. The problem is that it can be used majorly wrong by extremely greedy people. That's when money becomes an evil thing, like a cuss word, it's not bad till you use it in a bad way. So we should do our best and not be greedy and hopefully we can make this world a better place. :)

Why do we always go back to people that hurt us?

Everyday I see this. I've seen it with people I don't really know, people I don't care much for, and people I love and adore. Why why why! I'm guilty of it as well! It's like there is a person who no matter how much they hurt me, no matter the limits they pass, I still want them to be in my life. What I need to realize is that I'm better off without them. If they have hurt me once I should not let them hurt me again. Now if it's a little mistake, it happens no big deal! But when someone strings me along like a fish on a line just to kill me and eat me. Why do I willingly bite the hook! It seems so great! No matter how many times I've been caught before I've always been lucky enough to get loose fast enough. What happens when I cant get free. Why do we make horrible people addictions in our life's?! Please! If someone has done something to you that has put you through weeks months or years of pain let them go! Don't let them control you. Don't be that fish that couldn't get free. Please look in the mirror and see how much your worth. You will see royalty. You are an amazing person and you have people who love you and would never ever imagine hurting you. Try to understand that if it didn't work the first time and you were lucky enough to get away don't go back for more! Stay strong! Love yourself! Remember your worth! Remember that you don't deserve for people you love to treat you horribly. You can love them just do it from far away. Your life will get better if you just stay true to yourself. Do what's best for you not whats convenient for others. Please. I love you.

The First Day of Senior Year

Senior year...

















Yesssirreee. This would be me and my obvious struggles of going back to school. While everyone else comes home and post pictures of how cute they looked on their first day, I post pictures of how completely horrified I was. Really people, stop pretending! Today was not all fun and games. Today sucked! While everyone acted like they were superb and all I had to be completely honest and hate the guacomole out of today. It was completely awful. First off everyone is squealing to run and greet each other? Seriously shut up. Then everyone is running around trying to find their classes and figuring out who is in who's  class. Calm down kiddos. Then all the freshman walk around like they know everything when in all honesty they don't know anything. THEENNN the counselors are to busy to change your schedule this week because they refused to do schedule changes last week so now they are overwhelmed and I am stuck with TWO extra hours at school that I don't need! GAHHH! I mean yeah its exciting, its the last year! I love everything except the school part. In the first ten minutes of my first hour I was already looking forward to 1:10 when I would finally to be able to get in my car and drive away. I can already tell this is going to be  grrreeatt. Owell we'll see  I guess. It can only get better right? So now I'm going to try and get through the very last year of high school and make it a good one. It all depends on the way I choose to look at everything ahead of me. One thing for sure though, is that I can not wait for college! Not because of freedom or whatever the crap most excuses will be, but because it will be something different. A change I look forward to.

Where did the time go?

HOLY COW. I am left completely speechless. Where do I start? What happened to me?! It feels like yesterday I was the girl in the purple checkered dress coming home after a day in the media center sitting in a circle listening to Mrs. Cruz tell us stories. That was kindergarten, when all of us seniors came in on the first day not knowing what to expect, and here we are again. We are facing this year with fears tears and a whole lot of fun because its our last before once again we leave, not knowing what to expect from the world. I remember all the kids I went to elementary and middle school and now high school! We have been through so much together! We have all changed! I've seen many peers change from something completely different then they were in the first grade, and I've had friends that have just grown apart. Yet we still see each others accomplishments and downfalls, and we are always there for extra support. I remember I had everything figured out. I was going to get straight A's and be in the top five percent of my class and get a full ride scholarship to ASU and preform at Gammage until I graduated and became a star on Broadway. HA HA HA. I was so funny. Then I changed and my plans are totally different. I'm a professional slacker. Homework? Whats that? So where did all this time come from? How did I have the time to change that much! Why did it pass so fast!!! Its stressful really! I want all my time back! I think though, that the time left with people passing through my life, and it left with the memories we've created, and it left with seven hours of school everyday! It just left, I wish we would have stopped and enjoyed our time more. Here's to enjoying this year, the last of our time.

Why are we such a cookie cutter society?

I just don't understand. (Nods head and sighs of irritation.) Why do we work so hard to be cut perfectly? We all want to be the perfect little butterfly cookies. We want to be the one to make the good impressions, and we want to be perfect just like everyone else. WHY! Girls out there, please understand that YOU were meant to be YOU! Not Jessica Alba or Taylor Swift, or the head cheerleader! I'm dead serious! Stop trying to be someone else! Just be you and people will love you for that! The best person you can be is yourself, so PLEASE stop trying to be someone else! And trying to be "cool" or acting like someone else isn't even the end of it. Our society expects everything to be perfect. We are expected to go to school and get straight A's,  we are expected to be perfect and do as we are told and drive as soon as we turn sixteen and get a job and support ourselves and get scholarships and go to college and be the perfect student and get married to a lawyer who can support you and have kids and be a good parent for the rest of your life and never make any mistakes. This is how society expects us to be and if we even mess up on one tiny thing we are looked down upon? OH PLEASE! We all make mistakes! Sorry society, but lets get to reality please. People are going to make mistakes, people will do what they want. That's okay! We as a society have no right to judge them! In fact when someone messes up it may have happened because of the way our society is! When people are looked down upon because they are forty and don't have a job, usually society is a part of the problem because people cant accept them and so they cant find a job. SO please before you judge the next person that isn't perfect in society terms, please realize that they are probably doing what they can and there is nothing wrong with that.

Where did trust go?

Honesty ran far away like a child who feels no love. Trust is gone from our society. No matter how many missing signs and posters we hang trust isn't going to come back unless we start becoming more trustworthy. Where did trust go anyway? To the supermarket? No, those men run and rob it. Trust isn't there. Is it in our schools? No, there are to many pedophile teachers and psycho students that break down because of bullies. Trust definitely isn't there. So where are we supposed to find trust? Think about it, in the 1950's kids played outside on the streets, they had wild imaginations they ran around and just had fun. Their mothers had no need to sit outside and watch them, she had no reason to because she knew her neighbors she had faith and trust in the people surrounding her children. She had so much trust in those people that she knew that if something did happen and she wasn't there someone else would be. Those kids usually only had to come home because of dinner time, and usually they could stay out until the street lights came on, maybe even later! Then when everyone went to bed they didn't find a need to lock their doors or close their windows because society was a safe place. What happened? I was hardly ever allowed to just play out front as a child, even when I was me and my friends were checked on very often. It seems to me that its just gotten worse from even when I was a child! And I'm 17!! Now everything is dangerous and when you finally lay down in bed at night you stress yourself out trying to remember if you locked everything up! My question is what between then and now created this level of feeling unsafe? Can anyone even truly identify it? Is it just the fact that it became more popular to be violent and dishonest. It isn't a big deal anymore. People look at it like "Oh well bad things happens everyday" Is that what we have convinced ourselves to believe. That its okay because it happens everyday? Why do we sit back and let these bad things happen? Why have witnesses of terrible things stopped standing up for the innocent? Maybe that's the problem, we just sit by and let these things happen. The worst part of all is that we have let this get so bad that we can not leave our house without looking over our shoulders every ten minutes. Who can we trust? Family. I'm fortunate enough to have some family that I know are always going to be honest in their doings and with me. But like everyone else I to have family that I cant trust, I don't know if they are telling me the truth, I don't know if I can tell them things because who knows who they might tell and how they might twist it. Do we trust friends? Same as family. I have friends that I can completely count on for being trustworthy. I have friends that I don't tell things because Ive seen their lies. Its so sad. It's true though, people make mistakes and we have to forgive. Just remember, "Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me." Ive found that its even hard to trust people who your in love with. Maybe because they are being unfaithful to you, or maybe they aren't. But this uneasiness has become something in your mind because the world has set it as a likely possibility. Last night a group of friends and I went to see the Bourne premiere. (Spoiler alert btw!) There was an employee that went into his building and shot all of his colleges and friends at point blank. Afterwards I was taking my friend Bethany home and we were discussing trust, and how its hard to trust anyone. We talked about how even though that was just a seen in a movie, it was scary because that wasn't just a movie seen. It was the Aurora shooting, the recent Sikh shooting, the Shooting in Tuscon, the Virginia Tech shooting, the Columbia shooting. The possibility that it can happen at our schools, the only thing it takes is for one kid that we may trust to be pushed passed a limit and break down. We cant trust that things like that wont happen. I think that here the only thing we can do is know our limits and make sure that we are honest and trustworthy for others. We need to be that one person that someone can trust no matter what.

Why is life so confusing?

This is something that is a topic that almost every human has issues with, whether it be past present or future. So why IS life so confusing? I really truly wish i knew the answer to this. In fact we all do! I think in the end life is confusing simply because if we already had all the answers we would gain nothing from life. We would never make new friends, we would never fall in love, we would never have many of the experiences that makes us each who we are as individuals. That's why life has to be so confusing.

Why are people so rude?

"Rudeness is a weak persons imitation of strength." I'm not sure who said this, but whoever it was had a pretty good outlook on life. I think that every single one of us can be considered a "rude" person or a "nice" person. I think it depends on the day. When we get to the bottom of it we should think about what causes us to be rude ourselves (lets face it we all are at one point or another) usually we are rude because we have had a bad day, or someone is doing their very best to irritate us, or maybe someone has been rude to us first and passed along that rudeness bug. We all do it! We have to accept the fact that not everyone is going to like you or be nice to you. The secret to getting around this is to be an angel to that person. We've all been rude at one point or another, when you realize you've been rude or unkind to someone its probably the best thing to own up to it and apologize to that person before they spread the rudeness bug. If someone is rude to you just remember that maybe they aren't in a very good position and maybe instead of focusing on how offended you were, try and focus on helping the person that was rude to you and try and help them have a better day. I think that we ourselves cause rudeness simply by not considering others and only thinking about ourselves, once again we all do it. The best way to have less rude people and more nice people is to overcome others rude spurts and try our best not to catch the virus it has grown to be. We can only rid the plague by changing ourselves. We cant keep others from being rude, but we can help them feel better.

Why does making music make you a nerd?

Alright, lets talk. So being a musician myself i have grown up in the "nerd" or "dork" stereotype. Why? How is being a musician any different from being an athlete? Lets list what it takes to be an athlete, first off you need natural talent, then you need practice and lots of it, you need to put in effort to get to the level you want to be at, you need endurance and the will to not give up. Now lets list what it takes to be a musician or even lets at theatre kids and "techies" etc. First off we need natural talent, then an extreme amount of practice, then an ability to read, understand, memorize, then the ability to take something so simple and make it pure brilliance and absolute beauty. You have to have endurance because trust me hours at the piano isn't any more fun than a two hour long practice. It takes passion and love. So in comparing the two, I firmly believe that if athletes and "jocks" are going to walk around calling everyone else nerds and geeks, shouldn't they receive the same names? Does it not take the same amount to play sports as it does to play and instrument sing a song or recite a line? Coming from both sides as an athlete (although not a very good one) and a musician I don't think its fair that musicians are put at the bottom of the chain and athletes at the top. It starts in high school, when the quarter back of the football team gets special attention and treatment. When the school advertises non stop for sporting events and not more then a two second announcement is made for the band. Teachers love the athletes, but do they treat the artistic kids the same? Why is this? We work just as hard and yet we are like the puppy that is just as cute but no one wants to buy! I think its about time someone bought us! WE DESERVE IT! Who plays at the football games, the marching band! And they are AMAZING! They kill in their competitions and while they receive a "good job" and a pat on the back (maybe if they're lucky) The star athlete is getting extra help from five teachers and the attention from the whole student body, all so they can win Fridays game. Where is the love? Then even after high school, no one gives a care about Wicked, but as soon as the Superbowl comes around everyone drops everything they're doing and takes a day off to watch men in tights and shoulder pads fight over a ball. So my fellow musicians, artists, theatre kids, and techies we may be considered nerds geeks and dorks, but just remember  that the talent you have is absolutely mind boggling. The beauty of what you do is jaw dropping. Keep doing what your doing and don't let what others may say make you feel worthless in any way. You are awesome.

Why do we create stereotypes?

This has been something on my mind for a long time. Why do we create stereotypes. The recent Trayvon Martin trial has really brought that out to me. If you don't know, here's what happened: (this is just what I've gathered from reports here and there, I could be wrong.) George Zimmerman was a volunteer neighborhood watch man. One night he was standing gaurd when he saw Trayvon Martin, a 17 year old black male wearing a hoodie in possession of skittles and an ice tea. Zimmerman thought it was suspicious that Trayvon was in the neighborhood, so he called 911 and followed him. Trayvon tried to go home knowing that Zimmerman was watching/following him. Dispatch told Zimmerman to stop following, he did not. Apparently Trayvon then attacked Zimmerman and so Zimmerman pulled out his gun and shot Trayvon Martin in self defense. 

Okay hold on. So your telling me, that grown man following the teenage boy is allowed to shoot the teenage boy in self defense? When did that become okay? That boy was 17 years old. He had only lived for 17 years, and George Zimmerman decided that he had the right to take away that boys life because he looked suspicious? Even if he was being attacked by Trayvon. He had more of a reason to be using self defense at that point! Zimmerman could have used his voice, he could have pushed the boy off of him, he could have stopped following Trayvon when he was told to, he could have not made assumptions. 

I don't know what truely happened that night. No one really knows, except for the two people there and God. 

One thing I think is safe to assume, is that a life could have been saved if only stereotypes were not made. Possibly on both sides. Zimmerman claims that he saw a 17 year old black male in a prominently wealthier white neighborhood so he automatically assumed something was wrong. Well, on Trayvons side, he probably saw a creepy middle aged man sitting in a truck watching him, then getting out to follow him. He probably assumed something wasn't right. 

It's not fair really. Those stereotypes were there and they are there and they always will be. I can't tell you why, but I can tell you that they really suck. When you think about it though, we can control how people stereotype us to a certain level. 

Take me for instance, I am a white female who grew up not wanting for necessities, as an only child. What would you stereotype that as? Spoiled. Rude. Ungrateful. Lazy. There's probably more  that people can assume from me being an only child. They may be right though, I probably am all of those things. It doesnt matter though, if I don't let it matter. If I decide not to act that way, if I decided to not let people view me that way, then they won't, and they can't. Just because that's what I was born into does not mean that I can't be a nice thankful normal hardworking person. It all depends on how I make it. If someone is born into poverty, it doesn't mean they are bad people. They can decide where they go. No ones keeping them there. We decide our own paths. We choose what stereotype we fit into. 

Secondly, sometimes stereotypes aren't so bad. If you are walking and a man in a white van pulls up and tells you that if you get in he will give you candy, you probably shouldn't do it. There are certain things that create safety stereotypes. The people put into those categories are put there only because of the way they act. I'm generally not going to be afraid of being alone with a man who is shaved and showered and polite. Yet it's safe to say that being alone with a man who won't cut his hair, clearly hasn't showered, and stares at my butt while telling me repeatedly how beautiful I am, would terrify me more than anything. That's what I consider a safety stereotype. 

I don't know. There are some things we just can not control. Stereotypes is one of them. And to be brutally honest, we created those stereotypes ourselfs by our actions and how we judge others. So if your unhappy with your stereotype, change it. You don't have to be a "thug" you can be a businessman. Nothing is stopping you. In the end, things like stereotypes will get us in the worst trouble we've ever been in, or it could save you from a possible threat. I guess if we just kept to ourselves and treated everyone with respect, stereotypes would hold no flame. It's all in our hands. Be kind no matter what you may think. If your afraid for your life, be polite and turn the other way. Don't be offended if someone is afraid of you, if you do things like yell profound language and throw things around them, then they have every right to be worried. It's up to you. You can be who you want to be, and you can see who you want to see. That's all.

Why do humans find it amusing to cuss?

This is something that I have always wondered, mostly because of high school students. I remember way back in the day (elementary school) where if someone said "shut up" everyone else responded with an "OOOOO she said a bad wooorddd!!!" All of the sudden in high school though, its okay to drop the f bomb every other word. Why does that change happen in our life? When did it suddenly become okay for us to use crude words? If we aren't allowed to say something when we are young, what makes it okay to say it when we "mature"? How are we being "mature" when we use language like that? All these questions come from words that can honestly be offensive to certain people! So why do people insist on using them?! Okay, I get it, sometimes when in a chaotic situation your first instinct might be to yell a bad word, but when you are talking about where to sit do you really need to say the "f word"? I had a teacher once say that people actually use them as stress relief, that it actually makes you feel better to say them. I personally belief that that is not true. There was a time where I myself became very frustrated and yelled a word that I will not repeat on here, and it didn't make me feel better! No! It made me feel much worse! So worse in fact that I burst into tears! It didn't help at all! So can someone really use the excuse that it helped them feel better? When in the first place, the "bad words" that people use didn't originally present them selves as grotesque language. They used to mean poop, sex, female dog, black person, etc. So when you get mad, why all the sudden must you have a need to yell a word that means sex? Really? If you stub your toe are you really going to grab it and jump around going "Poop poop poop!" No. That doesn't make sense! Then why do students call each other these crude names as if its funny? "You're a female dog!" "hahaha" ??? WHYYY!! It's rude! Whats the point of it? Then when you ask someone to please not cuss, and instead of being polite they say ten cuss words in a row? Why? Why must you do this?! Are there any other words in your vocabulary?! I don't understand. But I do LOVE the people who are completely respectful, and when you ask them not to cuss, they don't! Or when someone accidentally cusses they say sorry! If you are one of these people, just know that I love you! So, this question is remained completely unsolved for now. Maybe one day I'll understand, or maybe not.

Whats the big deal with school?

So here we are. Summers over, and school is giving us a death stare straight in our tiny human eyes. Great. Now what I'm trying to understand is why all the commotion? Its the same thing every year. Stores use it as an oppurtunity to make money. Parents get excited over the free daycare. Kids rebell and soak in the last few days of freedom. We all get so worked up, over what? Sitting in a room all day while a teacher tries their hardest to make an imprint in our brains? I dont understand why we all rush to the store to get school supplies, or why we all get new haircuts and clothes to look better! Maybe I can understand the parents point of being excited, but really students? Come on! Is it really that big of a deal if your still not miss popullar? I can sit here and tell you that honestly I dont care! Think what you must of me, but I dont need the latest fashions to make friends. I dont need to listen to the new coolest song and know all  the lyrics. I dont need to get a hair cut or shrink to a size zero. People may pretend to like eachother because of those things. But I think that the people who REALLY like you and decide to be your friend, aren't going to do it because you have the cutest purse ever. Genuine people will like you because you are you! No one else is like you! Thats as awesome and as special as it gets! So, while everyone else is trying to put on a show for the first day of school, I'm going to gladly sit back and be me. I will treat the first day of school just like any other day, no pretending or putting on shows.

What caused the start?

For some reason, I made the decision to create a blog. This blog is not so that I can sit here and vent about my problems, or so that I could try and tell other people how I do things and that they should do the same. I think that what is so impelling about creating a blog, is that I can think aloud to anyone who will read it. I always ask my self questions and think things over time and time again in my mind, so why not put my self-inclined dispute to rest? My mind is completely overwhelmed with questions, especially being a senior in high school! I'm getting near the end of having everything taken care of for me. What will happen when I leave my  warming and easy going home, and go into a world where I have to work to have a home? This blog is where I will try and find answers to my wonder-some questions. I hope I can help anyone willing to read learn a thing or two as well.